when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing
good god when the mr clean magic eraser hits the stove……
the panties hit the floor
you know it brother
Cant tell you how many times I rawd*gged my husband after I caught him using a magic eraser to clean the pasta sauce I burned onto the burner like some kind of primordial insect
apparently weird nerds are throwing a tantrum abt a new fable gameâs female character and how shes sooo ugly so i look her up and. she looks exactly like me. like thats literally me right there what the fuck
I think everyone who called her a âbiological maleâ owes me money now.
just saw a clip where f1nn5ter was saying how at this point, he canât be cis, but at the same time, he doesnât feel like heâs transâheâs just neither. and someone in chat was like âyou canât be neither cis nor trans thatâs not how it worksâ i love finn but why is his chat so fucking bad đ stop recreating binaries for the love of god, identity does not have to fall into these neat little boxes for you to police
Listen. Make pasta and rice in the microwave. Use pre-made spice mixes. Buy frozen and canned foods because you know you’ll forget about the fresh ones. Shove some carrot sticks and lunch meat into your mouth and call it dinner. Roast some veggies with spices. Put cheese on your broccoli. Put an egg in your ramen. Eat a spoonful of hummus. Drink a bunch of cans of sparkling water. Put peanut butter in your instant noodles. Make taco filling ahead of time and eat it with salsa and potatoes. Put butter on your tortillas. Dip flatbread in spinach dip. Microwave some tv dinners. Stick your hot pockets in the oven. Eat an oatmeal cookie for breakfast. Do you hear me? Get some vitamins.
idk what traumatized or mentally ill person needs to hear this but dreams (especially the really disturbing ones you dont want to talk about to anybody) arent some deep peek into your psyche or a sign of your True Desires or whatever theyre quite literally your brain making fruit salad with whatever it can find on the shelf. just putting all that shit in a blender and hitting obliterate. its fine, youre fine, youre not a weirdo for it
Actually forget what I said. This dream is more important than anything
“nothing is real atoms never touch each other youve never touched anything in your life” ok. well when i pet my dog he is soft and when he licks my hand it is wet and that is far more real to me than whatevers going on at an atomic level
what my atoms are doing is their fucking business man i’m busy trying to stop my dog from eating tissues directly out of the box
